Many students suffer from not being successful in schools. From the first sight, failure in school is only one of problems one has to face in a life-time. Failure is of two types: lack of love and low self-appraisal, but these two are so connected that it is hard and unnatural to separate them.
We should consider person’s basic needs. These are feelings of love and dignity. Person should learn to love others and should feel the same in return. If the person has experienced the feeling of mutual love, furthermore during the whole life, he is already successful to some extent.
Success achievement ways for students
As to child’s second basic needs, feeling of ego, its connection to the school raises no questions. Knowledge and skills of thinking are necessary for having respect for oneself. If a child goes to school but fails to acquire knowledge and comply with teacher’s requirements, environment and family will barely change anything. Besides, if child learns to think and solve challenges he/she faces (which is of major importance for self-appraisal), student simultaneously gains faith in himself, without which it is impossible to love someone and be loved in return. Faith in oneself gives person the power to deal with unrequited love, and it means that the person has more chances for realization of needs. If a person is able to love, success will follow him, as love is a driving force on the way to achieving goals and facilitates feeling of self-significance. But if a person is not able to love and demands love from people, who surround him, will easily reach a deadlock. Example of this are spoilt children, who do not understand why the whole world does not behave in a way their short-sighted parents do.
As mankind experience shows, love and respect to oneself are two ways leading us toward acknowledgment of our own identity. In other words, only the one who finds a way to love and self-respect may perceive oneself as valuable person. The above-mentioned depends on acquired knowledge, experience and everyday problems solving skills.
Majority of children have two places, where they are able to follow this way – home and school. If everything is fine at home the child is able to be successful notwithstanding the negative he faces in school, but relying on this is risky. We should undertake all measures in order to support the child to undergo both ways at school, where he acquires mainly social experience: he should love and be loved in return, acquire good education and correspondingly obtain self-confidence.
It’s preferable if love is considered at school as social responsibility. If children are taught mutual responsibility, striving to help and take care of each other not only for other people but for one’s own self – the love will lose its real worth and will transfer into miserable and primitive feeling. It does not mean that students and teacher should love each other in family-like or romantic way, however they should learn how not to be indifferent to each other and help each other to overcome difficulties.
Teaching of social responsibility should be included in school curriculum. Otherwise, many children will not be able to find their way in life. Even well-off families are not capable of compensating school problems, however condition if such children is significantly better. Our society is not able to be dependent on family relations, that’s why school should open way to each children for realization of all needs –acknowledge themselves as valuable persons.
If child has problems at home or if he/she feels that no one needs him, lacks love and respect, than the case is very complicated. Notwithstanding to fact that he should satisfy all organic need – find out who is he. If he is not able to achieve this at home, he tries to find himself on the street, including those, who do not aware of this feeling. Independent attempt to acquire respect and have close relationship with someone is a failure. Such adolescents frequently get into prison for violation of law and by this unnatural method they find people who take care of them, for example, Police Inspector who supervises detainees.
Successful person is successful in relationships as well
If child’s personal needs are not accomplished at home, they should be accomplished at school. On the way to the success at school he should receive what he is lacking: warm attitude with coevals and adults. Lonely person, let it be a child grown up on the way of love and respect for others, will never have a sense of satisfaction, even if he walks both above-mentioned ways. The main problem still remains existence of such people around, with whom the child would establish relations with, so only the school may be relied on. Left alone child will newer acknowledge himself as a personality and will remain unrealized. The way of love and self-respect will be closed for him.
Successful person is successful in relationships as well. Unsuccessful persons complain of isolation. Main problem for them is loneliness. Loneliness is not linked with failure at school and if its existence is acknowledged, they state that it has nothing to do with the school. One way to reduce number of lonely and correspondingly unsuccessful children is class gatherings – we will speak about that below.
Scholl has a unique opportunity to save the child or at least ease such negative factor of personal development as loneliness. School has many sensitive people around students, who agree to help children, but, unfortunately, teachers’ programs do not facilitate their close relationship with children, and consequently they refrain from such contacts. School is able to help lonely people in becoming self-confident acquire feeling of their worth. Studying process should encourage children towards solving academic and social issues.